the red truth

It’s been a minute.

I got two teeth extracted the other day, and a bone graft. My face is wicked swollen and my mouth is full of stitches, and it’s itchy and achy and uncomfortable. Doing anything that raises my heart rate makes it throb. I just want to get back to something resembling normal.

I wish I could turn off the guilty feeling I get from calling out of work when I’m sick or injured. It’s so stupid.

I wish it were warm out. I wish I could see my friends. I wish I could go to shows and bars and movie theatres. I still miss all of those things. I know this will end, eventually. But what will be left when it does?

I’m home today, with my stupid swollen face. I would rather be out walking dogs. I would rather be doing a lot of things.

Knitting and Star Trek are the things keeping me afloat. Which is okay I guess. But those things will eventually run of room to hold all my boredom and loneliness and sadness. And then what?

I feel like I should end this with something positive, so have some cats. They’re cute at least. <3

(Re the title: screwing around with Spotify playlists, I had forgotten about Helios)

 

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